"You know what, rip me off one shame on me,rip me off twice? I'm coming back for you and taking back whats mine."

-Billy Mays on Billy Mays


Billy mays was not born, but he was hatched out of an egg. In fact in his early twenties billy laid thousands of eggs directly under kansas city in kansas. to this day they are still unhatched, waiting, waiting, waiting.


He died of being stabbed by a unicorn on the set of a commercial for unicorn tears. His death wish was to be buried in a pool of oxyclean. When they were dragging his body to the dump, he evaporated into purple sparkles.